Melmac Facts
  1. Most Melmacians are ten years old before they can hum
  2. On Melmac, all orange food must start with the letter "T" a good example is eggplant.
  3. Melmac's longest running soap opera was "As the critter screams". It ran for three months.
  4. IN 1736, Green beans were given the right to vote.
  5. Melmacian pigs can be taught to spell the word "syrup".
  6. Some Melmacians use cookie tins for luggage.
  7. Melmac's national pastime is mining for yogurt.
  8. Melmacian cottage cheese can double as headphones.
  9. On Melmac, some food groups can jump rope.
  10. On Melmac, saying "have a nice day" is punishable by death.
  11. Melmacian money is worth double on Wednesday.
  12. In 1633, Bart Humphery's front lawn was proclaimed a national treasure.
  13. Melmacian law states that it is illegal to guess the weight of a fire dancer.
  14. On Melmac, tree sloths know how to knit.
  15. Melmacian nacho chips can cough on command.
  16. On Melmac, Strained beets aren't allowed to drive.
  17. Melmacian trashcans don't have handles.
  18. Melmacian flowers sweat.
  19. To operate a gas grill, most Melmacians had to own a license.
  20. Hawk, the carp, was the first piece of seafood to break the four-minute mile.
  21. A year on Melmac consists of 364 days.... 386 days if you include Sundays.
  22. On Melmac, water fountains are molded out of bran.
  23. Because of certain restrictions, Melmacians can't name farm animals after their in-laws.
  24. No one named Beaver ever ran for public office.
  25. On Melmac, it wasn't proper to dance with fruit.
  26. Melmacians don't wear felt on most holidays.
  27. Melmac's national mascot was a groundhog, named Buster.
  28. The biggest cause of arrest on Melmac is tickling a barber.
  29. In 1847, Melmacians began using the word, "weenie".
  30. On Tuesdays, Melmacians couldn't square dance with mice.
  31. On Melmac, Some farm animals can wink.
  32. In 1902, Melmac set a galactic record in the exporting of over two million wind-up brassieres.
  33. The Chief hobby on Melmac was knitting quilts with fetta cheese.
  34. Mary Lee Bender was the first Melmacian woman to wear a parrot under each arm for profit.
  35. On Melmac, waving at a halibut is against the law.
  36. As early as age six, Melmacian squirrels are taught to laugh at wool.
  37. Seven of the over two hundred know Melmacian lawyers were allergic to bread.
  38. On Melmac, dwarves don't pay rent.
  39. Dennis and Debbie Chapfingers were the first Melmacians to be married in a vat of prune danish.
  40. Melmacian farmers aren't allowed to own teeth.
  41. On Melmac, all waiters are named after shrubs.
  42. Before graduation, all Melmacian students must press figs between their gums.
  43. All trees on Melmac were numbered, the tallest on was 42,256
  44. ON Melmac, dancing with a mailman is a federal offense.
  45. On their 50th birthday, Melmacians dress up as celery stalks and scream at shoes.
  46. On first dates, Melmacian boys usually go to the girl's house, meet her parents, and kiss the patio furniture.
  47. Old Melmacian proverb "All that glitters is not soup".
  48. Melmacian mice could actually ride bicycles, although they never did.
  49. At Melmacian rock concerts, everyone had to bring their own rocks.
  50. It's against the law for Melmacians to name their children after wood.
  51. Melmacians play chess wearing metal boots.
  52. Melmacians' favorite party game was pinning the tail on the lettuce.
  53. On Melmac, spreading grease on someone's knees was the highest form of compliment.
  54. The amazing Bill, Melmac's only magician, used to captivate audiences by pulling a hat out of a rabbit.
  55. On Melmac, the best line to use on a woman was 100-pound monofilament.
  56. Reginald J. Shank was the first Melmacian to whistle.
  57. Melmac's national bird was a rubber chicken.
  58. All Melmacian barbers were named Sid.
  59. On Tuesday nights, before TV, Melmacians would gather in living rooms to laugh at the carpet.
  60. On Melmac, it was illegal to juggle your cousins.
  61. Cats taste very much like hamsters.
  62. The biggest clothing craze on Melmac was see-through socks.
  63. Melmac couldn't pronounce the word "Ohio" until 1956.
  64. Melmacians wore fresh fruit under their arms when they showered.
  65. Before Melmacians existed, huge creatures used to roam Melmac. They looked like a cross between a dinosaur and an insurance salesman.
  66. Melmac was discovered 23,000 years ago when Harold Twink accidentally took the wrong exit for Neptune.
  67. Melmac's national flower was Roger, the turnip.
  68. To run for president on Melmac, your middle name has to be the name of a cheese.
  69. Instead of money, Melmacians pay for thing with fur. This way, if they spend too much they go bald.
  70. You can't own land on Melmac unless you are over 1 foot tall.
  71. On Melmac, Brussels sprouts can sing.
  72. IN 1923, Melmac won its first blue medal in the intergalactic Olympics for freestyle fainting and guppy chucking.
  73. During the holiday season, Melmacians dress up as vegetables and dance with their neighbors.
  74. Melmac's biggest box office hit was "March of the Wooden Lips".
  75. Melmac's deepest lake is Lake Glub-Glub. It was named after the last thing it's discoverer said.
  76. Melmac was once the intergalactic convention site for the federation of incredibly strange food groups.
  77. Melmac's only merchandising failure was rubberized scissors.
  78. Melmac's national anthem is "Dance till you drop", by Homer T. Swipe.
  79. The smallest creature on Melmac is a squish; named after the sound it makes if you accidentally step on it.
  80. Pocket lint, dental floss and battery-operated hamsters are among Melmac's chief exports.
  81. Melmacian weasels used to name their own children.
  82. Melmac is smaller than Earth, but larger than a gopher.