How To Tell When You are an obsessed ALF fan

1. You spray your house for roaches with ladies perfume
2. Every time you hear the doorbell ring, you hide in the kitchen
3. Your a member of the Giligan's Island fan club
4. You start using Melmac months of the year like Twangle and Nathenganger
5. You know that there is a such thing as Twangle and Nathenganger
6. You start signing all your correspondence and checks, Gordon Shumway
7. You know everyone that delivers your mail from the post office in your town personally because they deliver so many packages to your house.
8. You know every pizza delivery person in your town
9. You collect Boulyabaseball cards
10. You sleep in a laundry basket
11. Every time you have guests you sleep in the garage
12. You eat popcorn off the floor
13. You make a rock video for your SO
14. Every time someone has a baby in your home you watch Dick Van Dike, for tips.
15. You put red keys on your piano
16. You can get your psychologist to make house calls
17. You celebrate your 229th birthday
18. You can watch 10 hours of TV without having to get up to go to the bathroom
19. Your favorite song is Help Me Rhonda
20. Every time you get the hiccups you eat spinach
21. When you go on vacation you hide in your suitcase
22. You use the Melmac mating call to pick up dates.
23. You sware in Melmacian by calling someone a son of a Paul.

There is my collection, so if you have any more please email me and I'll put them up for you.

Here are some more.
24. Sometimes you introduce yourself as "Wayne Schlagel, Michigan Life & Casualty!" during your spouts of amnesia. Jeremy Jones jjones@gac.edu
25. You value gravel more than gold
26. After being grounded from tv, you watch four tv's to make up for lost time
27. You are thrilled by making toast. bolduc@wsunix.wsu.edu
28. If you are allergic to babies. Animania2@aol.com
29. You lip-sync Old Time Rock N Roll into a cucumber
30. You are obsessed with talking toasters
31. You have a fake i.d. with the name Wayne Shlagel on it ( which I do )
32. You first jos is selling terry Faith make up products
33. If you wear a blue dress, you don't go out because you don't have the right shoes.
34. When trying to make duck a l'orange, you blow up the kitchen.
35. You run off to a monestary when you find out you were born in wedlock.
36. When breaking the vacum cleaner, you call the manufacturer in Munich, Germany.
37. You have Danish Post cards.
38. You are a registered member of the Demo-Cats, a political party and a duwop group.
39. You own and operate your own Phlegm Dealership.
40. You sleep standing up with a box on your head.
41. You use thumbtacks as an alarm device.
42. You sleep with dryer on.
43. If someone tells you they are sick, you press your lips against their forhead in hopes of making them feel better.
44. You show someone your affection for them by sending htem a ham.
45. You try to make a whirling hot tub by using a blender.
46. You use a melon when you go bowling.
47. You are upset because you ordered a checkbook, and the bank sent you sunrise, and you oredered sunset.
Ben Miller bemiller@lynx.dac.neu.edu

...You smear radiator fluid on your face and say it's perfume.
...You take your honeymoon at the Duke of the Mist Hotel in Niagara Falls.
...Your guardian angel's name is Bob.
...You're deathly afraid of Jaffes.
...You look through a cheese catalog-consider the Nell Carter ball-but settle for Muenster Madness.
...You hide in the back seat of a car at a drive-in wearing phony teeth.
...You pretend to be a fuzzy lamp.
...You connect the dots in a book of braille and have someone else finish the meatballs.
...Your best friends names are Rhonda and Skip.
...You name your pet Neep.
...You have an Uncle Tinkle.
...You want to invent a sandwich caddy--not a device to bring you a sandwich, but a sandwich that hands you your golf clubs.
...You have a Cousin Blinky.
...You have a sudden urge to have a luau.
...You try to form a Skleenball league.
...Your bookie's name is Nick the Fish.
...You like to wear wax lips when you're being reprimanded.
...you think clog dancing is clogging up a sink and dancing around it.
...you like to put cheese in your oatmeal.
...For breakfast you like to eat eggs & bacon & sausage & pancakes & liver & onions & chicken pot pie.
Benjamin Franklyn Ziek

You eat until you pass out.
You're also known as The Wizz Kid.
When anyone enters your room, the first thing they say is: I see you like ALF!
You have this thing for Connie Chung.
You own a restaurant called The Pizza Barge.
You strat calling your siblings Curtis and Augie.
When you 'cross your heart', you indicate your ear.
You guffaw like this: HAA-HAA-HA-HAAA! while thumping on the table.
You collect kitchenware just because they're Melmac brand. (I've seen them.)
You do Green Acres impressions.
You imagine that every Hollywod alien will look like ALF.
Your stock portfolio is based on Melmacian Holidays.
You are obssessed over an ant farm.
You carry a Wernick conversion table.
pablo dulalia shumway@i-way.com.ph

*You're a member of the Auto club
*You have three stomachs
*You submit your sister to a beauty contest.
*You get cursed for 14 years if you burn a history book.
*You have an appetite for eating cats
*You bury all your dead ants from the antfarm.
*You buy joke kits from Taiwan.
*You have the ability to chat with the dead(using a tape-recorder)
*You consider chewing with your mouth closed is very rude.
*You ever played in Man of La Macha then do numbers from Gypsy.
*You're obsessed with the stock market.

--Jason Mechalek

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